Update Overload!

Middle East Adventure...Part 1

You may think the silence on the Woodruff Blog is because I subscribe to the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"!  That couldn't be further from the truth.  I firmly believe, "If you don't have anything nice to say,  you should say something TRUE!!"....... I have plenty of True stories to tell.  Some nice, and some not so nice.  So many anecdotes to BLOG in fact, that I've become a bit overwhelmed.

So, that's my only excuse for silence...I've been overwhelmed lately.  Sometimes I can accomplish epic tasks without thinking twice...Just recently I whipped up 200 cupcakes and the Ceremonial birthday cake for the Marine Ball, while simultaneously planning and hosting a dinner party for several couples... No biggie!  Other times, small feats are akin to climbing Mount Everest....  I practically need Sherpas and an oxygen tank to traverse the distance from my bed to the closet to put away laundry.  Small tasks such as changing from normal clothes to PJ's (or vice versa), turning on my computer (to write a blog post), or simply walking to the other room to get myself a drink can be more than I can handle.  At times I will lay in bed and freeze all night because of the effort required to pull up my duvet.... Frankly, I'd stay in bed all day if it weren't for the need to relieve my bladder...and the three crazy kids who need to eat. Clearly, we have established that I am LAZY and that is my only excuse!


This dad has the right idea!  He's not lazy...he's just conserving his energy!....I'm Lazy



 

Rather than tell you one or two really good stories, I'm just going to post a bunch of random pictures to sum up a few of the things we've been up to....maybe later I will back track and fill in the blanks with the exciting (sometimes gory details)...Don't count on it though because I am currently having difficulty conjuring up enough motivation to find the TV remote.

Isreal

Sitting on the wall on the "Mount of Olives" overlooking the Dome of the Rock and Old Jerusalem.

 

We walked up and down the streets of Old Jerusalem following the 14 Stations of the Cross (a Catholic tradition during Lent to commemorate the Passion of the Christ).  We followed the path of Jesus from his condemnation to his crucifixion and resting place. 

The Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus and his disciples prayed the night before his crucifixion.  The ancient olive trees in this Grove are estimated to be over 1000 years old producing beautifully textured wood and olives (a staple in the Middle Eastern diet).   Over the years, the olive has been the symbol of peace, wisdom, glory, fertility, power and purity.  It's leafy branch has long been a symbol of peace....a perfect setting for the final Supplication of the Prince of Peace.

 

 

 

Borekas- A middle eastern pastry filled with Cheese, Veggies, Olives, yummy Sauce etc.! We selected a few different varieties from the display and they were promptly heated in a brick oven until the cheese melted and oozed out.... just like the American "hot-pocket" minus the diarrhea and self-loathing that follow.....and the filthy microwave of course.

 

 

 

Bethlehem-  Church of the Nativity-  There was no room in the Inn, so I guess Jesus was born in the basement of this fancy, ornate church!!!  Visualizing the humble birth of Christ in a stable was a bit difficult with the gold leafing,  massive tapestries, and gaudy jewel-incrusted light fixtures that were built over the sacred location.  Take all the décor away, and you had a setting fit for the birth of a King.   

 

The Wailing Wall-  Also known as the Western Wall as it was the West wall of the temple that was destroyed

 

Jews may often be seen sitting for hours at the Wailing-place bent in sorrowful meditation over the history of their race, and repeating often times the words of the Seventy-ninth Psalm .Psalm 79 . On Fridays especially, Jews of both genders, of all ages, and from all countries, assemble in large numbers to kiss the sacred stones and weep outside the precincts they may not enter.

Notes and prayers shoved into cracks of the Wailing Wall.

Golgotha, Skull Rock, or Calvary-  The crossroads where Jesus Christ was crucified between two thieves.  This picture shows the eyes of the "Skull", but the bottom of the rock (the Skull's mouth) has now been destroyed by the construction of a bus station. 
 

The  Garden Tomb- "He is not here, for He is Risen"

 



Easter Weekend could not have been more appropriately spent than at the Empty tomb of our Lord and Savior. 

Well, this was hardly a dent in all that we have been up to, so I will vigilantly Blog every night until I get all caught up!  That is of course unless there happens to be something good on TV, I'm too tired, my nails need to be painted or I allow myself to be distracted by any number of potential hobbies I could develop in the next 24 hours.  Stay tuned!!

 



Saturday Church??

As a kid, I LOVED field trips!!  Not only did it mean a special treat in my brown lunch bag (I distinctly remember the Hostess cupcakes I found in my bag on the way to the train station for our fourth grade field trip to Hanford, Ca), but it means seeing something new, exciting and memorable.  I'm still excited by field trips.....especially when it means getting out of the house and off the compound for an entire day!!

A couple of weeks ago, we took a trip with some other Embassy families to see the two most iconic buildings in the city of Abuja, the National Mosque and the National Cathedral.  I pass both of this buildings nearly everyday, but had never been up close.  In fact, the National Mosque is my 'North-Star' for navigation around the city.  Whenever I am totally lost (which happens frequently, especially with street names like Ibrahim Babangida, and Kashim Ibrahim, and Shehu Shagari, Amino KanoCrescent, Adetokunbo Idamola) I glance up to the skyline to find the Mosque to figure out where in the world I am!  Generally, If I keep the mosque in site I can orient myself and find home, (no matter how many identical streets I pass with the name Mohammed in them)!

Our visit to the two houses of worship was strategically planned for a Saturday to avoid the Friday Prayer services at the Mosque and Church services at the Cathedral on Sunday.  I think the kids were a bit bummed to find out we were going to spend a perfectly good Saturday at Church, but were excited to do something new. 



 

The Gold-Domed National Mosque, always seen from a distance...Since the Government of Nigeria objects to tourists taking photos of buildings, this picture is an online stock-photo. 

Alexis wearing her wool head covering.  She looks beautiful, but with Temperatures over 100 degrees outside, I'm sure she was wishing the tour was less than 3 hours!!

I love that I didn't have to do my hair!  How much time would that save me if I could cut blowdrying our of my daily routine.  I could learn a new talent with all that spare time.....  Too bad it was so hot that I was wishing I was dead!
 

The Whole Clan at the Doors of the Mosque... This is where we would part ways.  The Men worship and pray on the ground level, the women proceed upstairs. All shoes are removed before entering to show respect.  As I proceeded barefoot to the top floor I nearly fainted from the sweltering heat.  The Mosque was not air-conditioned, and as we know heat rises!!  How do these women do it?!

Logan showing off his huge smile and his Kaftan (traditional Nigerian shirt). 

The kids wandering the Mosque's Market  with Miss Linda.  She treated them to peanuts and "toothbrush sticks".  Toothbrush sticks are what  is traditionally used here to clean teeth... No toothpaste needed, just chew on the jagged wood!  I tried it and for now I think I will stick with Crest and my Sonicare!




Alexis and Logan leaving the Mosque as we head to the National Cathedral

Our next stop was the National Cathedral located only blocks from the mosque.  Equally stunning and ornate, but much less reverent.  Alexis and I got a break from our head coverings, but the heat was still intense.  

Sawyer Loved the spinning floor!  The entire 30 ft platform with the pulpit rotated constantly so that the entire audience had a great view.  I just hope the preacher doesn't have a problem with sea-sickness!

The whole family in front of the stain glass at the National Cathedral....I think we look pretty good for 3 hours of churches!  Too bad it's only Saturday...
 

We enjoyed seeing first hand two of the most important places to the people in Abuja as well as to learn a bit more about their two main religions.  We received a booklet about the 5 pillars of Islam as well as interesting facts about the Mosque.  (Strange that they even included details about 43 male toilets and 19 female toilets).  I was glad to give our kids a view of the Muslim religion so they could better understand their school friends as well as not be fooled by common misconceptions about their faith. 

On the drive home, the real excitement started.  Alexis became extremely nauseated and overheated.  So nauseated in fact that she wouldn't eat the ice-cream we stopped for on the way home (this was the second time we'd had ice-cream in 7 months, so it was serious!!) We skipped her dance class and drove straight home for a cool bath.  She laid in the bath as I took her temperature and gave her lots of liquid to drink.  Between the baths, Tylenol, and liquids, her temperature would not drop below 102 degrees for several hours.  I was starting to get very worried because I knew she needed IV fluid to get her core temperature down because everything else just wasn't cutting it.  I guess being upstairs in an un-airconditioned mosque with full head covering while the sun was scorching outside was more than her body could bear.  Luckily after 4 hours, her temp finally returned to normal and she crashed on the couch for the rest of the night. I was so relieved that she was OK and we didn't have to head out looking for medical care for our little girl.  How do the women here do it?  Covered from head to toe all day long and going home to huts and shacks that are little protection from the brutal African sun.  They must have built a higher tolerance for heat over time. 

Taking Crazy to the Next Level!

This week, the Embassy offered a refresher course for all health care providers here at post.  The class was for Basic Life support, CPR, and First-aid.  Although I'm not working as a nurse here, the embassy community is eager for those of us in the medical field to maintain our skills....because we are just about the only reliable health care in the country.  Our basic clinic at the embassy and the handful of us with a little knowledge under our belts gives the US community access to better health care than a lot of the population. 
The realization that there is no "911", no ambulances,  paramedics, EMT's or Firefighters that can be summoned to an emergency is very unnerving.  Medical care (other than village medicine-women) is sought only by the very wealthy, mostly those who can afford to fly to Germany for treatment.  CPR is a household word in America, but I was reminded in the class, that very few people here had ever heard it.  If used on any non-American, or in a public place like a market, the result would be devastating!!  My good intentions would be misinterpreted as the cause for the victim's demise.....  causing a mob attack... responsible for my demise!!  Understood!!!  It was clear that our medical skills were for use in our own community ONLY so as not to be misunderstood.....  So much for the "Good Samaritan Act"!! 


Stop this horrible woman from attacking this poor man!!!

How sad  it would be to walk away from someone having a heart attack, or suffering an injury, knowing that I could help.  I realized that even if I could help, the person would have no long term hope anyway. There was no chance of being rushed to a capable hospital, given oxygen and other medications, and definitely no hope of  having a stint placed and follow up care.  Here, a heart attack is a death sentence!  A stroke, a fall, an open fracture or any just about any accident, infection or illness that requires attention is a death sentence.  Simple as that. 
This is the answer to why we never see elderly people here!  There aren't any old people.  I figure most of us have, or will be rushed to the hospital at one time in our lives...If treatment wasn't available, what would be our outcome?! 
Anyway, my point here is we are lucky to have access to such amazing care and facilities in the US.  Even here the US citizens, with our simple clinic, have access to much more than others could even dream of.  Luckily, if one of us finds our self in an emergency situation (and can get to the embassy), we will be flown out to London, Germany, or South Africa for adequate care.
Clearly, the medical situation here weighs heavily on us.  I am more concerned with kids falling, car-accidents, etc. than ever before because of this.  A head injury is likely more than the best-equipped hospital here could handle effectively.   For this reason, it is Seat belts, helmets, and anti-malaria meds for the Woodruff kids....almost to the point of obsession! 


Luckily, we haven't had to go quite this far to make sure the kids are safe here!!

Tyson is exceptionally risk adverse... That's why he was so stunned and a bit horrified when we found out we were having a baby!  Yep, you heard it...The Woodruffs are taking Crazy to the next level and growing a baby here in Nigeria!  (Does that make it an African American baby?)

So Nigeria has the 2nd highest preventable pregnancy deaths in the world (second only to India). Wow!  That's reassuring!  Last year it was estimated by the WHO (world health organization) that there were over 60,000 of these deaths.  Here were some of the sited barriers to receiving care.

• Pregnant women seeking obstetric care in public hospitals must bring their husbands to donate blood. If the husband refuses or if the woman doesn't have a husband, she is refused care.
• Women in labor are forced to travel to hospitals on motorbikes.
• Public health facilities demand in exchange for care that pregnant women purchase basic necessities like antiseptics, syringes and gauze—and that these items be a specific brand name.
• Doctors keep flashlights handy in the delivery room for use during regular power outages because health centers are not equipped with alternative sources of power.

These are the barriers to receive care in the hospital.  Most others depend on birthing at home, homes that are little more than crude shelters.

Home Birth??  No thanks, I prefer my epidural..and ice chips!

 

Luckily, I don't have to face the problems of other pregnant women here. Selfishly, my biggest stresses are that I can't get a Cherry Lime-aid from Sonic (with the pellet ice) or a Grilled stuffed burrito from Taco Bell.... the two intense cravings I faced during the last three pregnancies! mmmmm, I will have to get creative because I'm definitely not craving Suya (aka 'Street-Meat')! 

For fetal-dating purposes, I was compelled to go to a local clinic for an ultrasound (The most exclusive, high-tech facility in town).....I don't want to get into the gory details, but I have been in Truck-stop bathrooms that have felt more sanitary.  At least in a gas-station bathroom, you can hover over the toilet seat avoiding most germs. (Tyson claims it wasn't too bad)  This was not the case at the clinic.....I had a malnourished pregnant woman just inches to my right spewing TB bacterium into her handkerchief  during the 45 minutes we spent in the waiting room.  After enduring the crowded room with 15 strangers, the hospital administrator finally came out to tell me that there had been an emergency and I would need to reschedule!  I was happy for the excuse to leave, but she continued to tell me the horrific details of the emergency describing the massive hemmoraighing and "blood all over the room"!  Wow, What a way to instill confidence in potential patients, let them visualize HIV and Hepatitis flying all over the room they were to be examined in! 
Unfortunately, I had to return the next day, but I lucked out... I was relieved there was no Tuberculosis Lady, and no infectious bodily fluids spurting onto the examination table during this visit!!   In fact, I was supprized with how impressed I was with the doctor.  He was knowledgable, capable, and had uncharacteristically good bed side manner!  AMAZING!!  He was also board certified in the US and Europe!  For a moment, I forgot where I was and figured I was in a clinic in Washington DC.  I have a million and one complaints about the sketchy-clinic, but completely satisfied with the doctor....maybe one of the best I'd ever seen!

The most prestigious hospital in the area!  Takes only cash, up-front .......they did have a flat-screen TV on the wall!

At the end of my appointment I went to pay (because all things are settled in cash, no billing, and no credit).  I brought the 30,000 Naira I was quoted when making the appointment.  The ultrasound was indeed 30,000N, but they failed to mention the 'White-man-tax' of an additional 20,000N!!!  Yep, even at a 'reputable' clinic, they were trying to pull a fast one!  Seriously, they were trying to milk me (not even lactating yet) for 20,000N ($150.00) more than the service costs.  I said I didn't bring that much and couldn't pay it, and would make sure the price discrepency was reported to the Embassy.......... The next morning the embassy health clinic recieved a letter reguarding the "financial mix-up", and that I would be receiving a discount for my loyalty and should come back to retrieve 5,000N.  No thanks!!!  Not worth risking TB for $35!!!

Woodruff baby #4.  Alexis has a notebook of names she has picked for the baby...not one of them is for a boy!!

Long story short, I will be having the rest of my prenatal care at the Embassy with two additional trips to Europe for Ultrasounds.  When School is over in June, the kids and I will head back to California and Utah to spend time with Grandmas and Grandpas, have access to proper medical facilities, and most importantly to be close to a Sonic and Taco Bell.  The baby, Due Sept 18th, will require 6 weeks to get a passport and the immunizations required to head back to see daddy!  Then we will head back on our adventure.  I thought flying to Nigeria alone with 3 kids was a handful..... I will just have to carry stacks of tipping money for the airport and lots of Benedryl!!!

Scarred for Life

  We all have them, either stretch marks from pregnancy, or surgical incisions, or just careless mistakes. I know each scar tells a story,  and since living in Nigeria I have been obsessed with finding out more about these stories.....


The Driver that picked us up from the airport was named Mohammad, and he three severe scars on across his cheek.  It looked like he had been scratched by an angry tiger.....except the pattern was perfectly identical on the other side of his face.  Suddenly my mind was filled with questions?  Where did he get these scars?  Were they punishment for some horrific crime?  Prison markings maybe, or was he face destroyed to make a public example of him for doing something unforgivable?!  Before I could pull my husband aside to have my questions quietly answered, a saw a women with similar scars!  The scars were all over her face, but slightly different than the man's.  Before we'd even left the airport I had a few more scar sightings.......and thousands since. 

Getting to the bottom of the facial scarring was a little more difficult than I expected.  It's kind of hard to walk up to someone on the street and say, "hey, what do those hideous marks on your face mean?" or better yet, " Did that hurt?" But I've been intrigued by the  different patterns  I've seen as well as people from all walks of life with the markings.  "Facial Scarification", as it is known, is not isolated to people in poverty living villages (although it is more common in rural areas).  Bankers, doctors, teachers, store clerks, our house keeper and even influential Ogas (the Nigerian word for powerful boss-man), can be seen with the markings given them by their tribe in infancy.  

 

These markings identify this woman as belonging to a certain tribe.  The scars are seen as attractive beauty marks to some.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess!
 

 

 

Nigeria is made up of 371 tribes with unique cultural identities. Of these tribes, there are three main groups, the IGBO, HAUSA, and YORUBA.  Although not as common as it was in the past, the scarification is done at a young age to identify the children as belonging to the individual tribes.  In one article I read, it said this began with the slave trade, when children would be abducted and sold.  Clear facial markings made tribal members easy to identify in order to keep families intact.  Knowing that the different markings represent unique groups, I have spent a bit of energy trying to discern who is related to whom.   I've noticed that one of our security guards has the same horizontal lines as my friend's nanny, and our gardener shares the marking of a man I know at the embassy.  It is interesting to have a bit of one's genealogy so visible.

 Here is a link to a great article written by a man who lived with a tribe to learn more about their tradition of scarification.  Lars Krutak's article on Scarification

At a few months old, this baby is being initiated into the tribe by the local Medicine woman using  a traditional technique to give her markings that will stay with her through out her life.
 

The teardrop scars on Baby Enitan are being rubbed with charcoal dust and snail secretions to help control bleeding and to insure proper scarification.  A chicken will be waved over her at the end of the ceremony to chase evil away. 

This interesting article from CNN gives more interesting insight into the tradition of purposeful scarring. CNN Story of Nigerian Facial Scarification

“It’s a shallow life that doesn’t give a person a few scars.”
– Garrison Keillor
 

This little girl is about Alexis' age....The spiritual and traditional conviction must be overwhelming because I can't stomach the thought of allowing this to  happen to my little princess. 

Some of the common tribal marking in this area.



While on the subject of facial markings, I couldn't help but add a picture of Vladimir Franz! In case you haven't been watching BBC (it's one of the few channel at the gym), he is one of the current presidential candidates in the Czech republic. Vladimir is a composer, professor, presidential hopeful, and a body-art enthusiast! His entire body is covered with tattoos..... and has been nicknamed the Avatar because of the blue tone of his face........

Vladimir has permanent facial markings that differentiate him from the rest of the population... the difference here, is he has chosen to look this way!

 

Dirtly little scandal

This morning I committed a horrific social blunder here in Nigeria although I am somewhat used to shocking those around me. Being one of a handful of white people in the entire country, I expect a fair amount of staring, and pointing. But my skin color (or extreme lack there of) is only one reason I stand out.  Culturally, I do things differently.... I do things the American way which doesn't always mesh with how things are done here. 
What I did this morning created a huge stir in our compound.  My housekeeper begged me not to do it, saying I would embarrass my family.  I laughed and headed outside anyway.  I knew it would be and uncommon sight, but I didn't expect the gardeners to stop trimming shrubs, and the construction workers on the nearby roof to stop hammering, and the guards to stop walking the property all to watch the crazy American woman.  Pretending not to notice the commotion, I continued my task at hand with our maid staring in horror from the front window.  Finally I stopped when the pool boy and the gardener approached me together begging me to stop saying "Madame, please!  We would not allow our mother or sister to do this, it is shameful!  Please Madame, Please!!"
Clearly I had crossed a social boundary and was causing everyone around me serious distress.  So, I relented in order to save others from the discomfort they were feeling.  From the uproar around me, you must think I was mowing the lawn naked, or drowning defenseless animals in the pool, or possibly selling narcotics to kids from the porch.  No, I was doing none of this things.  My huge offense was doing a "man's job".  I had a rag and a bucket and was washing my car!!
Can you imagine?!  Well, now I have the Gardener scheduled to wash my car every Monday morning for 1000 Naira....to keep my car clean without shaming my family!  While Fazouk busied himself soaping up my vehicle I ran inside and grabbed my laptop and brought it outside.  I did a quick youtube search and found a video of a car going through an automatic carwash to show him how I washed my car at home.  He nearly fell over with disbelief that a car could drive into a raining room with spinning brushes and come out clean!   He wouldn't have been more surprised if I had told him that everyone in America has Robotic- Maids from 'outer-space'!!

If traffic is bad enough, you can hop out of you car and give it a brisk wash while you wait!...as long as you are not female

My blunder this morning reminded me of a few other 'social faux-pas' I have committed since being here....
Well, on my first day here, I went running with a British group and got terribly lost...Looking back on that event I realize that being lost in a foreign land wasn't my only problem.....My other  major problem, my tank top and shorty-shorts were lacking 2-3 yards of fabric to be considered decent in a predominately Muslim community!   Ooops, I was probably seen as a lost, crazy, white, naked running harlot!!! I guess there are worse things to be known as!:)



My next 'Faux Pas' was while shopping I sincerely complemented a Nigerian friend on her lean physique,  the type of athletic figure I am constantly striving for.  Ooops again!  How was I supposed to know I was insulting her!  Since she was a friend, she explained to me that having a fuller figure is desirable for her.  She said, "I would never want to be mistaken for the 'house-help'"!  She said she was currently trying to "increase" (their term for gaining weight). In fact, Nigeria still has Fattening Rooms for women to gain weight prior to their weddings to be more desirable to their husbands.  It's like the opposite of a Fat-Camp.  You spend up to six months doing little more than eating, sleeping and bathing.  These fattening rooms are used mainly by the wealthy of certain tribes to get their women up to par.  You can read a BBC article on this topic by clicking this link.. Fattening rooms in Calabar Nigeria.  Some woman have been able to double their weight in 6 months by strict adherance to the prescribed program.  It's these attitudes that make exercising seem unnecessary and even counter productive to some.  My housekeeper thinks I have a few screws loose each time I hop on the treadmill or head out for a jog! 
The body image here is a bit refreshing though, as most body types are appreciated and there doesn't seem to be an agreed upon 'ideal body image'. When I asked a Nigerian woman about the "ideal" body type in her country, she answered by saying, "Only you Americans and Europeans worry about your weight.  What a luxury to have nothing else to be concerned with except how much you weigh.  You have no problems so you have to create things to be unhappy about!" 
That sure made me think!

A betrothed bride gorging herself for beauty!  I remember trying to lose a lb or two before my big day to be sure my dress fit right! 

Fashion magazines reflect this attitudes as well.  You don't have to live on nothing but celery and rice-cakes to grace the cover of a Nigerian fashion magazine.  All beautiful women are welcome!

Here is another taboo that I learned (the hard way of course).  Don't use your left hand at all.  The left hand is considered unclean and shouldn't be used to eat, or to give or receive anything. You shouldn't give or receive anything with your left hand, unless you must use both hands to hold it.  No amount of soap or hand sanitizer can convince the population here that both hands can be germ-free!  I guess 'South-Paws'  are not highly regarded here, possibly one more reason my parents (both lefties) will never come visit us. This left hand rule is quite frustrating when I'm shopping, holding bags and have Sawyer on my hip with only my left hand free for the transaction.  The Naira I'm paying with is a filthy as a sewer anyway, so it frustrates me to have to set down everything I am holding in order to avoid paying with a hand that is perceived as dirty.

Remember to only use this 'clean' right hand for eating!!

Also when greeting someone, I should not be offended if a man shakes the hands of all the men around me but doesn't shake mine.  Some muslim men don't touch females.  (I'm not sure if this is out of respect or if  more than just my left hand is seen as filthy in this case).  Either way, im fine keeping my hands to myself!  Some people wont make eye contact as it is seen as intrusive.  Instead they lower their eyes and bow their head. (The cleaning staff and gardeners always do this to show of respect, which honestly makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.) 
It's my style to wave and loudly exclaim good morning friend as I walk by, but greetings are taken very seriously here and are not to be rushed.  I also like to get right down to business when I see someone, but it is considered very rude not to ask about their health and the health of each member of their family before taking the conversation any further.  A quick wave or 'hello' doesn't cut it here, and a proper greeting is expected by each person you run into.  I've learned the names of the children of the woman I buy bread and peanuts from so I can inquire after each of them every time I see her.

Another stark difference is brought to my attention every time I'm in public.  People swarm around Sawyer talking to him and touching him, but inevitably, ask the following question..."Is your boy ill?  Why is he not in school?"  The first few hundred times people asked this question, I just assumed they thought my hefty Super-Chunk was much older than his 2 years.  The common response to me explaining that he was a baby of 2 years, was "well he should be in school or he will never learn!"  Apparently it is common place to put children as young as 6-9 months in 'primary schools' here.  They are sent off to get started in their education at a very young age.  I have been berated regularly by well-intentioned Nigerian mothers that I am too soft and selfish keeping my child at home and will cause him to be disadvantaged in the future.  The women here don't beat around the bush either when they want to tell you how to do something....I've had people be pretty much in my face giving me "wonderful" parenting advice about how the 'American Way' is too soft.  It has taken serious restraint at times to keep from barking back rude politically charged comments, or just punching someone (what would be the point?)!  Instead, I smile and squeeze my chubby guy and say I can't dare part with him for another couple of years.  In the mean time I just make it a game to see how many people accost me daily to chastise me on my ignorant parenting.

I'm not ready for school!  I just wanna hang out with my mom and play Angry Birds!

 

Well, It's clear that Im constantly doing things that seem a strange to those around me.   Some of them are cultural, and I'm sure some are just me being me! Either way, we are all welcome to our own views....as silly as they seem to others.


 

Gymnastics in the Dark

Alexis and Tony working on handstands

I've been wanting to write about our kids' gymnastics club and their teacher, Tony.  First, I'll tell you a little about Tony and his background in gymnastics.  Tony is in his early 30's, from Cross River State (southern Nigeria), and is build like the stereotypical gymnast - about 5'4" and thick as an ox.  Tony started training in gymnastics in Lagos, Nigeria when he was 7 years old.  Like most gymnasts throughout the world, Tony began training on mounds of grass and sawdust in a yard where furniture was built, or in the back of his school during recess and breaks on whatever sand was there.  Fortunately, Tony did not break his neck, back, or any other bone severely enough to hinder his further training and in 1996, Tony was discovered by a national gymnast who took Tony to the Lagos State Sports Council to train.  That same year, after only several months of training, Tony was selected to put on an exhibition for the Governor of Lagos.  A short time after the exhibition, Tony's coach passed away.  Later that same year Tony represented Lagos at the National Sports Festival and won his first gold medal - doing so for his late coach. 



Logan and Tony working on handstands at the National Stadium 

Even though Tony kept training on his own, in 2003 he also began to teach gymnastics at a couple schools in Lagos.  He also began working with the Lagos State Gymnastics Association to organize interschool gymnastics competitions in order to expose his students to an actual competition and help build up their self-confidence.



Alexis and her litte British and Australian friends - no electricity doesn't stop them!

Tony represented Nigeria in 2007 at the prime international gymnastics competition in Singapore.  Tony and the Nigerian team won six bronze medals and a trophy, taking 3rd among 17 clubs and countries.  Tony stayed in Singapore through 2008 and 2009 at the Prime International Gymnastics Competition, getting elite-level training for the first time in his life.  While training in Singapore, Tony was asked to represent Nigeria at the Olympic Games.  Tony declined the offer - he told me he recognized the fact that, while he may have been one of the best in Nigeria, he was not at the level of other international competitors.  He told me that it would have been an honor to represent Nigeria, but he decided to turn his focus and aspirations to his students, making the goal to win an Olympic medal as a coach.



Alexis practicing landings and form

Tony's only job now is teaching gymnastics.  He loves teaching the skills and character lessons he learned from gymnastics.  He started teaching at Alexis' and Logan's school a couple of years ago.  While teaching the children there, one of the parents of one of the students asked Tony to start teaching her children private lessons in her home.  Tony decided to stop teaching at the school and now teaches about 100 kids from Nigeria and all over the world.   This includes the children from one of the local orphanages he teaches on the weekends.  He teaches them local Nigerian dances and basic tumbling.  He feels it's his duty to give back. 

His goal is to build up the program to the point where he will have his own facility and all the equipment necessary to be a feeder program for the Nigerian Olympic team. Currently, the club has a couple older mats that were donated from previous ex-pat residents and a couple mats he made himself.  And he's doing an amazing job with what little he has.  That being said, he is saving up to purchase uneven bars, a spring board, a vault, a running trampoline, regulation padded mats (ones he has not made himself!), and a balance beam. He would also like to begin training some of the girls in rythmic gymnastics.  Yesterday he hosted a competition for the kids - complete with official judges, team leotards, and medals. It was to serve as a fundraiser to purchase some of this equipment and to ship it here to Nigeria (can't find this kind of equipment here.).   We're trying to raise enough money in order to purchase the equipment so we can ship it over on our last household goods shipment (has to be done in the next two months.)  


Logan and Tony working on handstands and proper form

Unfortunately, as I stated, there are not many options for athletics here in Abuja.  Nor is there much support of any kind from the government.  It was reported in one of the local papers that parents of the children in this club (the only one of its kind in Abuja) approached the Gymnastic Federation of Nigeria (GFN) and the National Sports Commission (NSC) to request assistance of any kind.  For example, these parents have requested the support of GFN in the form of making the “Gymnastic Hall at the Package B” of the National Stadium, Abuja, available to this club as the premier gymnastic destination with regular classes and events. The parents are willing to pay for the coaching and administrative operational support of the club, if the government would be responsible for the infrastructure and the working order of facilities (lighting, air-conditioning, bathrooms, safety of facilities etc).  We are still waiting on the verdict from the Gymnastic Federation.  One of these parents did receive a call from the president of the GFN Nigeria who was most positive about the proposal. He said that they would meet with the parents at the National Championships however and unfortunately, they were not present at the times that the parents were there on three consecutive days.  One parent put a call to one of the board members and, per the article, has yet to hear back.  And the facility and the equipment sit, still unused.  And the club continues to use an aerobics room at the Hilton hotel and an empty room in a back building at the National Stadium, and mats Tony made himself. 



  

It's not about the Lizards... adjustments part 2

This little guy is amazing...His Gecko-Glue
 Defies Gravity!

One of the first things we noticed as we arrived in Africa, was the huge number of lizards.  They are everywhere!  In our compound, we generally see two different types scurrying around.  There is a blue and yellow lizard known as an Agama Lizard or Yellow headed Dragon.  The are huge and really creep me out.  I know that they eat bugs and mosquitoes etc, so I should be thankful for them, but I'm not.  In general, I leave them alone, and they stay far away from me as well.  The other little guy, with the insanely sticky feet, is a Wall Gecko.  I am amazed at their ability to effortlessly run up and down walls and even upside down on ceilings.  I'm not alone in my wonder as Aristotle wrote about them over 2000 years ago.   In Historia Animalium, written in 350 B.C., Aristotle mentioned these curious creatures at least five times. At one point, he described another creature by saying, “It can run up and down a tree in any way, even with the head downwards, like the gecko-lizard” (Aristotle, n.d.).  
They truly are fascinating and wondrous......until the second they enter my house, then they are disgusting little freaks!!!!!  Out in nature, I can appreciate their abilities and wonder about the Gecko Glue that adheres them to the walls, but in my house they are not welcome!!  Unfortunately, they have difficulty  differentiating between an outdoor wall and an indoor wall.  The ceiling of my bathroom is probably no different to them than the underside of a rock.  Well I don't like it, and I do my best to keep them outdoors, constantly reminding the kids to slip out of the front door quickly and close it immediately behind them.  In reality, the kids leave the door open while sitting in the doorway tying their shoes or rushing in from school.  Basically we give the geckos ample opportunity to explore the inside of the Woodruff Casa driving me absolutely nuts! 

The bottom of a geckos foot has tiny hairs..the magic ingredient for his acrobatics.

One particular day I had absolutely had it with these little creatures!  Alexis found a little Albino Gecko in her bathroom when she was brushing her teeth, causing the kids to avoid that area of the house until Tyson got home to remove it.  There was one perched next to our water purifier... blocking me from having anything to drink for the day, and two more were found scurrying along the hall wall.  When Tyson came home, I armed him with a mason jar and begged him to
 find all of the little creepers and get rid of them immediately.  Reluctantly, muttering  under his breath,  my hero caught and released all of our unwanted visitors.  Relieved that we were again alone in the house I picked up a laundry basket full of folded clothes to deliver to bedrooms, when staring at me was a huge yellow headed Nigerian Dragon.  Screaming, I dropped the basket and sprinted upstairs and had a complete and utter melt-down.  I stomped and stormed cursing and threatening the dirty lizard for trying on my clothes and sliding through my towels   I don't recall my exact words, but I know they were unkind, derogatory terms aimed at these home-invading reptiles.    I think I promised to slaughter every four legged tree climber in the entire continent of Africa, as vengeance for the crimes of the Yellow headed dragon.  During my tantrum, Tyson made a very astute observation.  Watching me rant and rave he calmly said, "It's not really about the lizards, is it?"

In our 8 years of marriage, he has never been more correct.  It was not really about the lizards at all!  In actuality I can handle a few four legged creatures in my space, I'm sure I could defend myself and children from a lizard attack if I needed to.  The lizards were just the last straw for the day..  A final inconvenience that when added to all of the other annoyances seemed exponentially larger than life!! 

 

I'm going to share a few of these little inconveniences that when piled up seem overwhelming.  I will inevitably reveal myself as an ungrateful, high maintenance, thin-skinned, brat.  But that shouldn't be news to anyone and isn't going to stop me from giving you a taste of a few frustrations!!! 

The kids always look forward to Friday after their homework, piano and chores are done and they get to play the Wii.  We've told the kids that  Friday and Saturday are called the Wii-kend because it's the time they can play their Wii video games. Logan is especially motivated by Mario Cart and counts down all week for the time he can play.  Unfortunately, as of last week, Friday, Saturday and Sunday will no longer be known as the Wii-kend at the Woodruff house.  (Instead, the weekend is just the time mom serves everything on paper plates so she doesn't have to do the dishes.)  The Wii that Santa brought last year for Christmas was inadvertently plugged into an outlet that didn't have a voltage regulator attached.   Basically, It means that the inside of our Wii consul and the inside of a chain-smokers lungs are virtually identical.  The kids and Tyson (my biggest kid) were devastated.  Alexis wants to ask Santa for another one.....but we explained that Santa only brings each toy once and he keeps track of what he has given.  It was a hard way to learn about the importance of using a voltage regulator for EVERYTHING!  I think the kids are ok about losing their Wii because we have talked about how fun it was to play with it every Wii-kend for almost a whole year!  Most kids around here will never even play once!

What I imagine the inside of our Fried-Wii to look like.
 

Speaking of electronics, when arriving in Abuja I had to trade my I-phone 4 (with Internet access, gps, and other awesomeness)  for a Samsung circa 1998.  Seriously, this phone resembles the one I had in college 14 years ago.  It's the type that requires you to push each button two or three times in order to type each letter. This is bad enough if you are trying to text someone a 3 or 4 word text, but  even worse if you have to include a greeting!... Yes, every conversation here (verbal, text, whatever) begins with something like, "You are very welcome, how was your night?  How are your children? How's the family?"  It  is considered impolite to just get right down to business as most Americans are accustomed to doing.  I just want to text "On My Way!"  but instead have to ask about health and family first!!!!  Aggghhh!  And with the old fashioned phone and it's cumbersomeness, by the time I have composed an urgent text, it is usually moot!  In the time it takes to compose a text on my phone, I could breed carrier pigeons, strap a letter to one, and have the message delivered. 

While setting up voicemail on my phone, the operater instructed me on the best method of checking messages while driving!  I wonder what the recommended way to text and drive is.

 

Also an adjustment is that the MTN network (the cellular phone service) gets overloaded regularly causing the phone to be a reliable source of communication only about 50% of the time.  There are no phone contracts here, as each person loads and reloads their phone with credits.   The economy here relies on Cash only, and everything paid in advance, so I go to the local hole in the wall to buy 1000 Naira cards to reload my phone each week. 

 

 

 

When you have a five year old boy at home the toilets don't always stay pristinely clean.  Our little guy has been working on being respectful of other family members by making sure that the toilet is flushed, and toilet seat is down and clean after each use.  I thought we were making progress until yesterday I found three toilets in the house that were un-flushed.  He denied even going to the bathroom, but I told him the evidence was right in the toilet bowl where he left it.....yellow and brown.  He and I walked to each bathroom to flush the toilets together and discuss proper bathroom etiquette.  My annoyance gave way to disgust when upon flushing, the water didn't clear.  We flushed again and again, and the water was still filthy.  I rushed around to check all the taps and sure enough the water coming from all areas of the house ranged from a dingy color pictured below, to a dark muddy brown.  I ran to the housekeeper to have her immediately stop the laundry as I didn't want my whites "washed" in what looked like coffee.  It was dark brown with sludge and smelled like a bag of potatoes that had been forgotten in a damp basement long enough to have sprouted eyes and hair. 

 

The embassy facilities manager came out  and had a crew working on it within minutes.  The city water had somehow gotten into our separate compound water supply bypassing the filter.  After many man hours of pumping water and flushing tanks, clean water was restored by bed time.  It left me with a lot to ponder about the cleanliness of the cities water supply.  I knew it wasn't drinkable, but didn't realize that it resembling sewage more than spring water.  Since we have a water distiller in the kitchen and a additional filter between the city supply, I didn't realize how bleak the water situation really is.  Clearly this was a one time event for me, but not for others. I want to look into it more to find out about the water quality available to the average Nigerian.  In the meantime it looks like I just need to apologize to Logan for assuming he didn't flush!!



Sorry Logan!!!